The Fates of Today's Children

There are many things concerning children. I will list some of them and you can extend the list.

1. A child is born to a pair of parents. However, not all parents are married. Even if parents are married and have children, sometimes parents choose to go separate ways and the children end up either with the father or the mother or neither parent but with the grandparents. Or they go to foster homes or orphanages (rumah anak yatim) with some hope to be adopted.
2. Many children are adopted. Adopted children either do well in the new family setting or they don't. Many do well as babies and children but later in the teenage years and young adulthood, they will struggle to find out their origins and biological parents. That's when a lot of problems come in. Some problems can be easily resolved but most problems do not end and have no ending. Adopted children are bitter about being adopted when they should be happy living with their original biological family. That's fated.
3. When children or adults find out that they are adopted, what can they possibly do? They can break down and cry. What comes after crying? Revenge. Children, teenagers and young adults cannot accept the thought of being adopted and therefore harbour ill feelings and revenge as their first instincts in hitting back at their foster parents. But foster parents are of 2 main types - good and bad. Mostly, children revenge at the good foster parents without a second thought. The adopted children do not dare speak out against their bad foster parents or the dealings will even be more severe. That's life.
4. What happens if a child wants to find out its biological parents? Who will disclose the results of the DNA paternity testing? Whose right is it not to tell a child his/her true biological parents? What right has a child to find out its biological parents? What right has a child to find out that the parents he/she has been living with are not his/her biological parents?
5. What happens if a couple wants to ascertain that a child they own is their biological issue and not that exchanged or swapped at the nursery? How certain are the nurseries and hospitals today that mothers are taking home the babies that they delivered? How certain are we that no baby swap has occurred? 
6. In Islam, there are rules and regulations about adopting and looking after children. Things are ok before puberty. Once a child reaches puberty, then that's when problems begin. How then do we tackle the problem of adopted children at puberty? There are 2 issues - 1) aurat, and 2) breastfeeding.
7. A girl at puberty may not be a girl anymore and must stay away from the foster father. The problem of aurat comes in and the girl must cover herself before her foster father and her foster brothers. This girl can legally marry her adoptive father or any of her foster brothers.
8. The same if a baby boy is adopted. When he reaches puberty, his foster mother cannot face him without strict cover of aurat. Same with her daughter, they all have to cover aurat when the boy reaches puberty. This boy can also legally marry his foster mother or sisters.
9. To avoid the problems of aurat and possible marriage within family members, Islam advocates breastfeeding of the adopted baby. When an adopted baby is breastfed by the foster mother, the baby becomes a part of the family and is legally a son or a daughter of that family, except the baby's father's name remains unchanged. Changing the father's name for an adopted baby is forbidden in Islam.
10. When adopted babies are breastfed by the foster mother, they cannot marry with any family member. In this respect, breastfeeding is a big YES in Islam.
11. Do foster parents have to answer if their adopted children ask whether they were breastfed or not? Yes, they must be honest. Parents must be honest to their adopted children.
12. Why do today's children get hurt when they find out they are adopted? Because parents failed to inform early on in the children's life. This is the greatest wrong foster parents can do. It saves a lot of trouble if they inform the child from very early on but yet show a lot of love towards the adopted child.
13. Adopted children often grow up to become troubled teenagers or adults and that problem shapes their character, which is often accompanied by brute actions, indifference or rudeness. There's a lot of anger and apathy that linger in them.

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